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You’re Not Stupid!
A few months ago as my family was enjoying our mealtime conversation my son looked at my husband and asked him what 1 + 1 is. My husband told him the answer is 2. My son then proceeded to ask me what 1 + 1 is. I thought his intention with asking me was to check that my husband and I had the same answer. I soon found out that was not his reasoning at all! What does my son think of me?!
When I told my son that the answer is 2, he replied to me, “Good job mom! Now you can have a job!” What!? Does my son think I am stupid?
Does he think I stay home all day taking care of him and his siblings because I am not smart enough to get a job? The good news is that I have become so confident in my position as a stay at home momma that I didn’t have to work through any insecurities and my husband and I were able to laugh at his comment. But as I began to think about what he had said it made me think about the momma that isn’t feeling so self-assured in her position as the primary care-taker and homemaker. I just have a few things to say about that!
You Are Special
First, there is a reason your husband isn’t begging to stay home with the children. And it’s not because he doesn’t like the little people, it’s because what you do everyday is hard. Sure, when I go to the store to grab a few odds and ends, if I don’t make a list I WILL forget something because… mom brain. But I do know how to accomplish about 100 tasks at one time. I am really good at loading the dishwasher while listening to my daughter tell me about her day and cleaning up the spit up running down my arm from my baby who I am holding. And this is just a normal day. These tasks may seem menial but if you don’t do them, who will? And if they don’t get them done what will happen to your home and your children?
As moms, we have the opportunity to create peace in our homes. This task should not be taken lightly. Without peace, fear and chaos have the chance to reign rampant. It may seem like what you are doing everyday is boring and pointless, but it is so definitely not! Ok ok, it might be boring sometimes but it is most definitely not pointless!
Think, Think, Think
Remember, you are raising a person! That requires a brain! I’m sure you are not feeling as on top of your game in the smarts department as when you were in school or at your job before having children. But trust me, you haven’t lost all of your marbles! You are just using your brain to answer about 1000 questions a day and make about a million decisions an hour! “Mom can I go outside and play? What shoes should I wear? Do I need a jacket? Can I have a snack? What’s for dinner? Do we get dessert tonight? Can my friend come over tonight?” Dear mommas, don’t underestimate what you are doing everyday and the brain power it takes to sustain your family.
The other night I went out to coffee with a few of my “mom friends”. As we were all chatting one of my friends made the comment, “I think I might be stupid now. When I went back to work after my baby was born I forgot how to do everything that was so easy for me to do before he was born!” We all started laughing and making comments about how we have to make lists now just to remember a couple of things we need at the store. Or the classic example of walking into a room and completely forgetting what we were doing in the first place. It can be funny some days to think about how you are losing your mind. But other days it might not feel so funny.
I had my first baby when I was 21 years old, I didn’t go to college and I never had a career. I did have a few part-time jobs but nothing that ever made me feel qualified. Fortunately your worth is not found in what you do but who you are.
If you identify primarily as a mom, you are forgetting who God created you to be. He calls you Daughter. You are His. He knows you more deeply than you know yourself. I encourage you to read this scripture below from Psalm 139. Read it out loud and let God’s Word penetrate your heart today.
1 O Lord, You have searched me and known me.
2 You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
You understand my thought from afar.
3 You scrutinize my path and my lying down,
And are intimately acquainted with all my ways.
4 Even before there is a word on my tongue,
Behold, O Lord, You know it all.
5 You have enclosed me behind and before,
And laid Your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is too high, I cannot attain to it.
7 Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
8 If I ascend to heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, You are there.
9 If I take the wings of the dawn,
If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea,
10 Even there Your hand will lead me,
And Your right hand will lay hold of me.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will overwhelm me,
And the light around me will be night,”
12 Even the darkness is not dark to You,
And the night is as bright as the day.
Darkness and light are alike to You.
13 For You formed my inward parts;
You wove me in my mother’s womb.
14 I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are Your works,
And my soul knows it very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth;
16 Your eyes have seen my unformed substance;
And in Your book were all written
The days that were ordained for me,
When as yet there was not one of them.
17 How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand.
When I awake, I am still with You.
19 O that You would slay the wicked, O God;
Depart from me, therefore, men of bloodshed.
20 For they speak against You wickedly,
And Your enemies take Your name in vain.
21 Do I not hate those who hate You, O Lord?
And do I not loathe those who rise up against You?
22 I hate them with the utmost hatred;
They have become my enemies.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me and know my anxious thoughts;
24 And see if there be any hurtful way in me,
And lead me in the everlasting way.
You are powerful and smart because you are someone’s Mom. That is a part of who you are and not a single other person can be your child’s momma. But you are also wonderful because you are a daughter of the King. So be confident my friend. And remember when you think you are really gonna lose it, take time to rest. I know that may feel impossible at times, but when you get the chance, take it! I promise you, a good nap can make all the difference![/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]